


Secrets

by ohmyguts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Birth, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, Whump, kinda touchy stuff about premature babies?, preterm labor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:55:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25543972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmyguts/pseuds/ohmyguts
Summary: Hinata thought he could hide it all, just keep telling lies until after finals then he could quietly give birth and no one would ever have to know. Except the cramps in his stomach are distracting him from every second of this match, and he can't quite focus on anything that's happening. He might not be able to keep this secret much longer.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Comments: 7
Kudos: 283





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> ok yes hello this is VERY old, and ive never read any of the manga and its probs very ooc so just ignore all that and have a good time
> 
> but yeah college hinata gets pregnant and decides he can totally keep it a secret until he goes into labor in the middle of a match, angst to follow

Hinata breathed through his nose carefully, trying to will away the nausea that filled his stomach and the tang of stomach acid building in his throat. He splashed some cold water over his face, trying to calm down his frantic nerves and ease the ill feeling that weighed heavy in his gut. He always felt sick before a match, no matter how many years he’d been playing volleyball for, the nerves always sat funny with him.

Though pre-game nerves weren’t the only thing weighing heavy in his gut right now. There was a dull thud against the wall of his belly, and he stole a quick glance around the public bathroom to double check it was truly empty before pulling up his uniform.

The bright number ten folded under his fingers as he tugged it up and away, revealing the odd-looking mound beneath it. He’d done everything he could to try disguise his growing belly. He’d wrapped it in bandages and pulled on the tightest spanx he could find in an attempt to flatten the protrusion, but even then, there was still a curve to his belly that could not be denied, even when he still denied it so much. It was small, definitely much smaller than he should be at 8 months pregnant, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t gotten strange looks from the other players and endless questioning from his team mates.

He could tell there was a mix of curiosity, concern, and frustration amongst his team, and emotions were particularly high at the moment now that they’d finally made it to the finals this season. It was a miracle in itself that so many of Karasuno’s old team had managed to move onto the same university team, but the first and second years who had continued their pursuit of volleyball all ended up being scouted by the same university. And thus, years after they graduated they were standing together in the stadium for the Season’s final. Or at least the rest of the team was. Hinata was in the bathroom trying not to hurl his guts up from nerves and the heavy secret he’d tried so hard to bury.

The baby shifted inside him, and it brought with it an immense pain that had Hinata’s muscles tensing as he gasped. Just the nerves, he tried to play it off. Anyone would be nervous going into the finals. Especially when they’re pregnant. And their team doesn’t know. And they shouldn’t technically be playing at all.

He’d meant to tell someone, he really had, but he found out he was pregnant so far into it that it was already too late to do anything to stop it, and the team was already well on its way through training and the preliminaries for the semi-finals. There was no way he was going to miss this. He’d worked too hard for too long to just sit out of a season because of a mistake he didn’t even know he’d made. He was hoping to just breeze through the pregnancy and the games no problem. He was due a month after the finals anyway, the timing almost seemed too perfect. All he had to do was make it through this final match, then he could rest up from the season, pop this baby out and send it off to be adopted out to some loving family somewhere that needed a kid. He had no intention on letting this hold him back.

Maybe it seemed cruel, but he’d worked so hard to get here, and he’d never planned a child into his career. Maybe in the future when he was more established and prepared he might consider children, but he was still too young. Barely an adult himself now, even in University and working his way into professional volleyball. Hell, if anyone found out it could set his career back months, maybe years. He couldn’t let that happen.

The door squeaked open as two players from another team walked in, smiling and chatting to each other as they entered the bathroom. Hinata hurried to yank his shirt back down, splashing water over his face one last time before hurrying out of the bathroom with his head down. The other players stopped talking momentarily as he passed, but he ignored them in favour of hurrying back to his team. They were probably already waiting for him to come join their warm ups, frustrated by his recent flakiness and seemingly poor performance. The pregnancy had definitely hindered his ability to jump and spike as freely as he used too. His belly sat awkwardly on his hips and made his once quick darting from one side of the court to the other slow and clumsy, but he tried it nonetheless.

“Dumbass, where were you? Warmups almost over, hurry up!” Kageyama’s annoyed voice pitches over to him from across the court. It sends a bristle of nerves shooting down his spine as he jogs over to them with a quick “sorry!”

He quickly falls into line passing an oncoming serve back over the net. He can feel Kageyama’s glare boring into his skin, just waiting until he can say something, Hinata already knows what he’s going to say though. He continues his jog around the court as they pass and serve back and forth. A ball is headed his way when a sharp pain rockets down his lower back into his hips and stops him in his tracks. All he can do is stand there with a pinched expression as the pain holds, eyes unfocused enough that the ball bounces right past him. It’s a moment later that the pain fades enough that he can shake his head and focus again. And the first thing he hears is a sharp “The hell are you doing!?”

Kageyama’s frown appears right in front of him, and Hinata jumps at his sudden appearance.

“N-nothing! Sorry!” He jerks back, fists clenching by his sides as Kageyama’s eyes squint at him in deadly scrutiny.

“Hurry up and get over those stupid nerves already” he says coldly, and Hinata just nods before turning around to chase up the rogue ball.

He crouches down to pick it up and has to resist the urge to put one hand on his back for support when he struggles to stand back up. It’s embarrassing how much he has to fight against his body to get things done now. He hears a curt snicker behind him and turns to see Tsukishima staring at him with lazy eyes and a lopsided grin.

“Are you so fat now you can’t even stand up properly?” he chuckles deeply, and Hinata can’t help the heat that floods his cheeks.

“S-shut up” he retorts weakly, head turned down to stare at the round ball in his hand resting over the ball that is his stomach. He hates it.

“I mean, I’m still impressed coach let’s you play like that. I guess it is a miracle that pigs can fly” Tsukishima laughs to himself as he returns a serve easily over the net, and Hinata jumps back at the remark.

“Bastard…” he mumbles under his breath as he walks back to the court, sluggishly serving the ball to the other side.

Another sharp pain pools inside his hips and spreads through him like poison, but he steels himself and narrowly manages to return a pass over the net with only some slight stumbling on his behalf. He groans inwardly as the pain ebbs again, mumbling under his breath about ‘nerves, just nerves.’

Before he knew it, warmups were done, and they were being rounded up for their pregame pep talk, he could barely focus on what was happening though as yet another mind scrambling pain took over, taking away his focus as he tried to just look outwardly un-phased by the deep ache inside him. And then suddenly they were on the courts and a whistle was blown as a serve went up and over the net.

He could barely keep up with the flow of the match, stumbling around the court trying to keep up with passes and serves and blocks as the game charged forward even if he was stumbling behind. He could only just keep himself focused enough to keep up with the action when his belly wasn’t tight with pain, but it seemed more often than not his mind was hazy with the increasing stabs of pain. He could barely concentrate with how much it hurt, and he was already wheezing and panting from breathlessness when the game had barely begun.

As he flubbed another pass, hands on his knees panting for breath, he felt a hand grip the back of his collar and yank him upright again. Once again finding himself face to face with Kageyama’s angry scowl again.

“The fuck do you think you’re doing?” He hisses bitterly.

“N-nothing, le’go” Hinata pants, shrugging Kageyama’s hand off him and quickly readjusting his shirt. He steps back into position, ignoring the annoyed words Kageyama is hissing under his breath as the match continues.

It seems like as soon as Hinata attempts to pull his focus back into the match his belly constricts again, sharp pains rushing through him. He only barely manages to follow the ball with his eyes as it passed over the net and back again.

“Hinata!” Kageyama barks at him, and his head whips up to see him setting up to toss the ball. His muscles tighten in his legs as he sprints forward, rushing to get into position before the toss falls. He can see the ball as it hits his fingers and pushes up, launching towards him.

His knees bend, and he pushes hard, lifting himself off the ground as he jumps for the spike. For a beautiful second all he can feel is the air and the adrenaline as he watches the ball move closer towards him, fingers tingling in anticipation of the ball hitting his palm. Instead he receives another, harsher stab of pain that saps him of his energy and pulls the strength from his limbs.

The ball soars in front of him and he swings despite the pain, fingers smacking its rubbery surface and sending it bouncing off the blocks palm before it comes careening back onto the floor of their side of the net. Hinata can’t do anything to stop it as he watches the events play out before him, falling gracelessly down, unable to control his limbs enough to get his feet beneath him, and instead landing on his hip before rolling several feet.

He can feel the sting of torn skin on his forearms and knees as he gasps in shock from the impact. There are a few panicked calls of his names, but all he can do is wince from his crumpled position on the floor. He pushes his palms onto the polished wood, attempting to make himself upright, but a wet burst and an excruciating pain tears through him, and he can’t contain the feeble yell as he crumples into himself harder, arms wrapping tightly around his middle.

“T-time!!” a voice calls, followed by a sharp whistle that calls the game to a pause.

“Hinata, you okay?” a worried hand grips his bicep, turning him just so Hinata is met with Yamaguchi’s worried face, behind him stands the rest of the team including Kageyama’s confused scowl that seems equal parts annoyed and worried, and Tsukishima who seems to be quietly concerned underneath his aloof visage.

“Y-yeah. Just fine” Hinata winces, trying to push himself upright again. He grimaces when the first thing he feels is a wet squelch as he sits upright, parting his knees to look down and find that the court beneath him is wet. Did he fall into the water cooler or something?

Another, equally sharp pain hits him and he curls into his stomach as he groans, eyes pinched for a moment before opening to find that the puddle beneath him had grown, soaking his shorts further and feeling awful to sit in. The puddle was now also tinged pink in what he can only assume must be blood.

“Wow, dude, did you piss yourself?” Tanaka’s voice pitches over the growing panic filling Hinata’s head as he stares wide eyed between his legs. He feebly shakes his head as he trembles.

“Is that blood?” Another voice says, but Hinata’s losing track of who’s around him thanks to the anxious panic that’s screaming inside him.

“Get the medics!”

“Hinata, can you hear me?” Yamaguchi says, kneeling beside him with a scared pitch to his voice. Hinata manages to turn and face him, face pale and breaking out into a cold sweat as he looks at him and tries to gasp in a wobbly breath.

“I- I’m sorry… I s-should’ve… t-told… I should’ve told-” Hinata is wheezing through his words as tears fill his eyes. It’s too soon for this. He was supposed to make it until after finals.

“Hinata, breathe! Calm down. What should you have told us?” Yamaguchi tries again, ever the reassuring presence. He’d taken to being a leader just like Sugawara had, keeping a calm and reassuring presence over the team. His concerned eyes only made it harder for Hinata to open up.

“I-I’m… Ooh!” he stops as another pain rolls through his hips, like a reminder of the urgency he’s in, “I’m pregnant! I’m p-pregnant… and I think my water just broke…”

There’s a lasting silence that washes over the team, silent glances between each other and then down at Hinata, trying to grasp what the hell he just said. He can feel several of them taking long hard looks at the mound of his belly, and the slow realisation that it harbours a baby inside it.

The medics push through them suddenly, asking quick questions about what hurts and where, assuming the injury to be a sprain or fall related injury. Not, y’know, a pregnant person in preterm labor. Hinata is still trying to even out his breathing through yet another striking pain while Yamaguchi tries to explain what’s happening to the medics, who seem thoroughly confused at the whole situation. One steps away to radio the ambulance while the other steps kneels beside Hinata to ask him some questions.

“Hi, Hinata is it? I’m Takahashi. Your team mate is telling me you’re pregnant and think you might be in labor, are you sure you’re pregnant?” The kind faced medic asks, and even if he was probably just asking for clarity’s sake, it still jabs Hinata the wrong way, leaving an annoyed flare of anger guide his tongue.

“O-of course I’m sure! Why the fuck else would I be doing all this!” he groans through a clenched jaw, yanking up his shirt to show the messy arrangement of bandages and shapewear constricting his stomach, there’s a few resounding gasps at the state of him, and the medic’s face tightens into a frown as he sees Hinata’s belly.

“That would explain why you’re carrying so small… How far along are you?”

“thirty-three weeks...I think” He hisses, closing his eyes to breathe through the pain.

“Hinata, I need to check if you’re dilating or not, do I have permission to do that?” The medic asks carefully and clearly, making sure Hinata can hear him and respond with full understanding of what he’s agreeing to.

“Y-yes, just hurry!” he winces again, the pains aren’t getting any better, in fact they feel nonstop at this stage. He really wants this just to be over already.

“Excuse me then” The medic says quickly before moving their gloved hand below Hinata’s waistband and into his underwear. He startles initially at the touch, but understanding the urgency allows himself to try remain calm, even as he watches his teammates look away in embarrassment and surprise. He can feel the medic struggle to get past the spanx in the way as well, but eventually he succeeds and after a quick check his hand retreats.

“You’re already over halfway dilated, we need to get you moving now before this baby comes right here” the medic says in full seriousness, turning to say a few words to his co-worker before they’re hurrying off for a wheelchair.

“W-what… what?” Hinata says in confusion. Halfway there? The baby is already so close to coming?

“…I-it’s gunna be okay, you’re okay, Hinata” Yamaguchi smiles at him, but his eyebrows are creased, and his smile is awkward at best.

“I’m not ready… I’m not ready, please…” he begs aimlessly, he doesn’t know to who, but he just needs anyone to hear him.

“I’m going with him” Kageyama says abruptly, scowl burned into his face at his stares down at the polished floor.

“What? No, you aren’t!” Hinata growls back at him, “You’re the- Ah! Oof… The best setter we have! You’re staying!”

“…Are you kidding me? You’re saying that now!?” Kageyama bites back, anger marring his face as he glares down at Hinata.

“O-of course I am! If I can’t be here, you have to be! We can’t l- lose!” He whines out between gasps of air, hands gripping tightly at his uniform as he bares through the contractions.

The medics are there again, helping move Hinata into the wheelchair, saying reassuring things about the ambulance being ready and how he’s in good hands.

“You can’t go alone! You’re crazy!” Kageyama shouts at him, actual anger blinding his ability to think about how the audience can still see everything that’s been happening on the courts.

“I’ll go with him, you stay and finish this” Yamaguchi says calmly, standing beside Hinata and the medics to look back at the team.

“Yamaguchi…” Tsukishima starts, but a simple hand from Yamaguchi stops him before he can say anymore.

“There are plenty of people on the bench that can do what I can do on the court, so at least let me help one of our players off the court. You guys finish this, yeah?”

The team all stare hard at each other, a million different things that want to be said all at once, but before any of them can be said the medics are pulling Hinata away with Yamaguchi falling in step behind them.

“You win this for us, yeah? Win this one for Hinata!” Yamaguchi calls back before they disappear out of the gym.

The atmosphere shifts instantly the second the door closes behind Hinata and Yamaguchi. Hinata’s nerves are only getting worse as he realises how real this all is right now. That he’s being rushed to hospital in the middle of Nationals because he’s in early labor. Oh god, he’s having a baby.

He hasn’t had time to prepare for anything yet, hadn’t thought far enough into contacting anyone about adoption or even really planned any further than that. Too late now.

Hinata gasps sharply again as the contractions seem to pick up, the pain coming on even stronger now as they get closer together. He feels Yamaguchi’s hand grip his shoulder, and when he looks up at him he’s giving him another nervous smile.

“You’re gunna be alright, everything is gunna be okay now” He nods at him, and Hinata just nods back. He’s honestly grateful that Yamaguchi volunteered himself to come with him, as embarrassing as it may be to have someone see him go through this, it was such a relief to know he wouldn’t be alone anymore. That there was Yamaguchi’s reassuring presence to keep him calm and talk him through the pain.

He’d never considered it before, but now that he was actively suffering through labor he realised how much harder this would’ve been alone. How much more scared he would have been if two strangers had wheeled him away to some hospital to spread his legs and push out a baby he didn’t really want all by himself. He’d never considered what a daunting task that was, but now that it was upon him he was quietly grateful that Yamaguchi’s soft face was there reassuring him.

“Alright, up we go” one of the medics say, helping Hinata from the wheelchair and into the ambulance. He lay down on the gurney inside as they strapped him in, Yamaguchi sat in the front seat as the ambulance took off towards the hospital.

“Alright, I need to get these off you, they cannot be helping at all” The medic scolds lightly as they lift Hinata’s shirt to look disapprovingly at the bandages.

“Go ahead” he mumbles, embarrassed at himself that everyone had to find out what lengths he was going to to hide the pregnancy. It made him feel awful at what he could’ve done to the baby.

“It’s likely that the binding may have caused the early labor as well, of course I can’t say for sure, but it’s definitely not healthy to go this far” The medic said as they cut back the layer of bandages and fabric until Hinata was free. He swallowed a deep breath when the bindings were removed, able to breath easier now without them.

He didn’t have any words for the medic, and even if he did the next contraction would have cut them off, somehow being the worst one yet and drawing a choked scream from his throat as it felt like he could feel his womb truly contract for the first time. He struggled to take a breath in as it seemed like the pain lasted forever, only growing and growing worse by the second.

As abruptly as it came, it went, leaving Hinata gasping and sobbing against the flimsy bedding of the ambulance. It felt like everything just got so much worse from that point on, pains coming faster and harder, lasting longer and ripping even deeper inside him. Yamaguchi was stealing glances into the backseat and offering encouraging words, but they did little as Hinata could only cry and scream between pains, eyes pinched tight as he breathed heavily.

He was moving through the hospital on the gurney before he even realised he was out of the ambulance. Things seemed to be happening faster than he could process, and suddenly he was being shifted onto a bed and his clothes were being tugged off and replaced with a thin hospital gown. Then he was lying on his back on a bed as a doctor introduced himself and said some words Hinata could barely process before disappearing between his knees and returning moments later with a tight frown.

“He’s almost fully dilated, it won’t be long now” the doctor said, standing up. He said a few more words that Hinata supposed were directed at him, but he completely ignored them in favour of yelling through a new contraction and arching his spine off the bed as it made his muscles twitch and spasm.

When he came back down the doctor was speaking with some nurses by the door and Yamaguchi was staring at him with wide, worried eyes. His hand lay clenched on top of the bed sheets and Hinata placed his gently on top, giving him the best smile he could manage, even if he knew he looked sweaty and exhausted.

“T-thanks for staying with me… I know you’d rather be at the finals” he huffed out with a laugh. He hoped the team was doing alright. They were probably doing better without him, but they’d also lost Yamaguchi when he left as well. Down two regular players in the final wouldn’t be easy, but the team had worked hard to be there. They wouldn’t let this stop them.

“No way was I going to let you go through this alone. We’re a team, all of us” Yamaguchi says quietly, nodding to himself as he turns his hand over to grip Hinata’s.

“…Thank you” Hinata smiles again, closing his eyes as he takes a moment to rest.

“…Hinata” Yamaguchi says after a pause, “Why… why did you keep this a secret? Why didn’t you tell someone?”

Hinata winces at both a heavy tug inside him as well as the words that sting at his heart. He hadn’t wanted his team mates to find this out. He didn’t want to be questioned, but now there was no choice.

“…I thought it would be easier to pretend it wasn’t happening… That I could just return to volleyball afterwards without anyone knowing… so much for that” he huffs out a sad laugh, he knows he messed up in more ways than one. But that doesn’t change what’s happening now.

“Hinata…” Yamaguchi sighs, there’s not much to say to that. Hinata knows he wants to scold him for being reckless, and he doesn’t blame him for that, but Yamaguchi is nice enough to know that Hinata is suffering enough at his own hands right now. The lecturing can wait.

Another tug inside him makes it feel like his organs are being yanked from inside him, and he yelps at the sudden pressure that builds in his hips. The pain and the pressure are growing, and it’s not until he feels something part his lips that he realises he’s been pushing. He gasps suddenly when the pain stops, yanking at Yamaguchi’s arm before he can find the words to says.

“C-coming! It’s coming!” he manages to squawk out in a panic and Yamaguchi’s eyes widen at the words. He hits the nurse call button by the bed quickly as he watches Hinata’s face scrunch again as he continues pushing.

He can’t even stop himself, he knows he should probably wait for one of the midwives or doctors to return and help him, but his body isn’t giving him a choice in whether or not he wants to push, and so he grits his teeth and pushes as much as he can. He can feel the baby’s head descending, spreading him open wider as it comes. His skin prickles with pain as it stretches out around the head of the baby before growing in intensity to a searing, burning sensation that makes him desperate to be done with this.

He notices that the doctor has returned to his position between his knees, but beyond that he can barely focus on what else is happening. He just continues to push as his body tells him, and when he hears the foggy sounding “Good work, keep pushing!” from below then that’s all he needs to keep going. It feels endless, non-stop pain and agony from a place he can’t even see through the obscured blankets shrouding his lower half. It only makes the whole situation harder and more eternal feeling, he can’t even tell if the head is out or not yet. Or at least he didn’t think he could until suddenly he felt a pop and brief relief from the tight pain in his groin, followed by a quick “heads out!” from below.

He panted heavily before baring down again, groaning hard and squeezing Yamaguchi’s hand far too hard, but he didn’t have the sense to stop himself. He felt the stretch and burn get worse as what must be the shoulders started to force him open again. He groaned and whined as he pushed, barely containing his urge to scream as he struggled to push the shoulders out. He felt them stretch him open and slide out one at a time until they both presented evenly, splitting him even more than the head had. A final strong push and he felt the shoulders slide forward, followed by the rest of the body as it turned and was lifted out of him.

He fell back with a sob when the stretch was finally gone, knowing the worst was over for him. He raised his head slowly to see the furrowed brows of the midwives and doctor in the room as they bustled about hurriedly. It was only then he realised that he had heard no cries. Was the baby okay? Had he messed up so bad that he’d taken away any chance it had to survive?

He couldn’t bare the thought that his selfishness had led to his baby dying.

He pushes himself up as much as he can to look around the room more clearly. His eyes quickly find the nurse who has the baby cradled in he arms while her finger press gently into their chest and another nurse supplies air through a pump over the baby’s mouth and nose. His eyes water at the sight alone, seeing the tiny baby look so weak and helpless as they try desperately to bring some life to them. It feels like an eternity that he watches them before he hears the almost inaudible wail and see’s the baby’s limbs constrict as it pulls it’s tiny fists into it’s chest. There’s a sigh of relief that washes over the room and the nurse steps towards Hinata.

“A boy, congratulations” she smiles warmly, “if you open your gown enough I can place him there to keep warm while we bring the incubator in.”

Hinata does as she says, untying the string and opening the gown as she places the tiny newborn against his skin. He’s so small, even now it seems his chest only rises and falls with his tiny gasps and shallow cries.

“Incubator?” Hinata questions weakly, looking up to the nurse as he holds the small baby to his chest.

“Yes, he’s severely underweight and is having trouble breathing on his own. He’ll need some time in the NICU before he’s allowed to go home. I’m sorry, I know it’s never easy to hear that…”

Hinata pales as he stares down at the baby, watching as he takes tiny, small breathes, his skin still a strange purple colour, and his small face still scrunched and wrinkly. He did this. He’s the reason this tiny child is struggling so much. He can’t hold back the tears or the sob that escapes him as he tilts his head back to the ceiling. Such an idiot. How selfish could he get.

Soon the nurse was removing the small boy from his chest and taking him to the incubator, and Hinata was left feeling like he’d lost more than the nationals.

“…How could I do that to him?” Hinata sobbed quietly, startling Yamaguchi who still remained quietly beside him. “How could I…”

Yamaguchi didn’t say anything, just squeezed Hinata’s hand again and looked away as he cried. He cried and cried until his eyes stayed shut, and his sobs evened out into the shallow breaths of sleep.

–

“-ey said that he’ll be fine to go home soon enough, but the baby… it’s premature so it’s sort of a touch and go situation until his condition improves…” Yamaguchi’s voice was quiet, but still clear in the room beside Hinata.

“Jeez… and to think he was going through this all alone, what was he thinking…” Tanaka’s voice sighs sadly, and Hinata jerks a little at the sound of his other team mate.

“Don’t say it like that, he had his reasons” Yamaguchi says firmly, and Hinata can already imagine the expression on his face. Stern but worried.

“And what would those reasons be” Kageyama’s voice calls out next, it sounds tight. Either angry or frustrated or sad. It was hard to tell without seeing his face.

“Kageyama…” Yamaguchi sighs.

“Might tell you… if y’didn’t talk behind people’s backs… in front of them…” Hinata slurs as he struggles upright.

“Hinata!” Yamaguchi worries, helping him upright slowly.

Kageyama just stares at him bitterly. So, it was anger after all.

“Why’d you do it?”

“I didn’t want to give up on volleyball” Hinata defends calmly.

“Bullshit. Why’d you really do it?” Kageyama says again, anger flat and cruel in his tone.

Hinata sighs, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I didn't realise until it was too late to stop it, and I was afraid of losing everything if I told anyone. How could I keep playing if everyone knew I was pregnant? How would everyone even look at me if they knew... everyone would probably hate me. Tell me I was wasting my potential...”

“Fine. Why didn’t you tell _me_?” Kageyama bites out, bitterly staring at the porcelain tiles.

“What?” Hinata can't help but stare at him with wide eyes.

“Is it mine?” Kageyama clarifies.

“Kageya-”

“Is it mine?” He repeats.

“…Probably, yeah.”

“Probably?” Kagayama's eyes meet Hinata's, swirling with hurt and anger, sadness. 

“Yes, okay! It has to be yours… there was no one else…” Finally admits, folding into the sheets more. He can feel his eyes burn with unshed tears.

Kageyama sighs again before moving to sit on the side of the bed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He says, softer now. His face no longer marred with anger.

“…I was afraid…” Hinata mumbles into the sheets.

“Of what?”

“That you would want it? That you wouldn’t want it? That I would never be able to play volleyball with you again? That you wouldn’t ever toss for me again?” Hinata sighs, sinking into the pillow again, “Everything.”

“…and what do you want now?” Kageyama looks at him, hand settling on top of Hinata's.

“…I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet, it’s still too early to know. I mean what if he doesn’t even make it?” Hinata's voice wobbles, he hates thinking that there's a chance the baby won't make it, the thought scares him either way.

“But what if he does?” Kageyama seems so gentle now compared to the tone he had when Hinata woke up. He almost feels silly now for fearing what Kageyama would have said if he'd told him sooner. 

“…Then I’ll be here for him until I do decide. I can do that much at least…” and he knew that much was true. He wouldn't abandon this baby after everything he put him through.

“Then I’ll be here too. I’m with you no matter what.”

Hinata's lip quivered at Kageyama's words, but he choked back the tears with a nod, calming himself with a breath. It brought a smile to his face as Hinata looked up at him. “Thank you, Kageyama. Oh, and hey one more thing.”

“Mm?”

“Did we win?” 

Kageyama laughs and shakes his head, “Yeah, just like you told us too.”


End file.
